Avoid recommending food from other tables when suggesting drinks and appetizers to guests.

How to Suggest Drinks and Appetizers Like a Pro (Without Making Guests Feel Off their Game)

If you’ve ever eaten out and felt a little nudge of discomfort when a server mentions “you should try what others are ordering,” you’re not alone. It’s a subtle moment where good service can tilt into awkwardness. The fastest way to slip into that awkward zone is to recommend food from other tables. Yep, that’s the one not-to-do. Here’s the thing: when a server asks a guest to chase what someone else is enjoying, it can land as judgment, not guidance. It says, in a roundabout way, “What you picked isn’t good enough.” That’s not the vibe any good restaurant wants to give off.

Let’s break down why this particular move trips up guests, and what to do instead to keep the mood light, confident, and actually helpful.

Why recommending from another table isn’t a win (even if it feels like a shortcut)

• It creates pressure, not curiosity. People don’t want to feel watched or measured against someone else’s plate. It can trigger anxiety about choices, not excitement about flavors.

• It drops the focus from the guest’s preferences. A dine-in moment should be about what the guest likes, not what someone else lucked into.

• It erodes trust. If the server points to others’ orders, guests start to wonder if the kitchen uses a hidden meter for “cool kids’ dishes.” That’s not the impression you want to leave.

If your goal is to build a warm, confident service vibe, you’ll want the emphasis to stay on the guest. And there are simple shifts that make a big difference.

Be specific, not vague — the kind of guidance that helps guests say, “Yes, that sounds perfect.”

• Instead of broad statements like “everything’s good here,” tailor your suggestion to what’s on their table. If they’re eyeing a crisp appetizer and a light drink, lead with something that matches that energy.

• Name the dish and its components. Mention what makes it tasty or interesting: a citrus-forward note, a smoky finish, a texture that pops.

• Tie it to the guest’s stated preferences. If they say they don’t like spicy, propose a milder version or a different pairing that still feels exciting.

Becoming a trusted voice means you’re the one who knows the menu with ease and uses that knowledge to guide decisions—without guilting anyone into a choice.

A quick framework you can use (and adapt on the fly)

• Start with a simple, open-ended question: “What kind of flavors are you in the mood for—crisp and bright, or richer and comforting?”

• Read their vibe in the first minute: Are they curious, hesitant, or decisive? Match your tone.

• Offer two options, then one personal favorite. For example: “If you want something bright, the citrus-glazed shrimp is a hit. If you’d rather something heartier, the blue cheese-stuffed date bites are surprisingly popular. My personal favorite is the garlic-scented shrimp—great with the sauvignon blanc.”

• Invite feedback: “Does that pair well with your drink choice?” This makes the moment collaborative.

Highlight your own favorites (in a friendly, non-manipulative way)

People love to hear what a server genuinely enjoys. It feels authentic and trustworthy. But there’s a delicate balance: you’re sharing a personal pick, not pushing a sales agenda. A good line can be as simple as, “I personally love the shrimp with garlic—it’s a favorite of mine because the flavors pop in a simple, elegant way.” When your favorites come across as real opinions rather than pressure, guests feel guided, not sold to.

The art of upselling without pressure

Upselling isn’t a bad word in hospitality; it’s a craft when done with care. The trick lies in framing suggestions as value and flavor enhancement, not a test of loyalty or status.

• Offer tasteful pairings: “This wine has a bright acidity that goes beautifully with the citrus notes in the shrimp.” It’s a natural, informative link between dish and drink.

• Suggest portions that suit the moment: “If you’re toying with a couple of apps, a tasting flight or a split portion can be a fun way to explore the menu without committing to one big choice.”

• Provide a sensory cue: “That cheese pairing has a little tang that complements the citrus in the starter.” It’s about texture and taste, not pressure.

• Watch the tempo: read the room. If a table is enjoying conversation, keep the suggestions brief. If they’re ready to decide, offer a few crisp options and pause for their reaction.

Phrasing that works (and a few to avoid)

• Do say: “If you’re in the mood for something zesty, I’d point you to the citrus shrimp. It’s light and paired nicely with a sparkling wine.”

• Do say: “We have a mushroom crostini that’s rich but not heavy—great with a pale ale or a crisp white.”

• Don’t say: “People at other tables liked this, so you should try it.” That puts others in the spotlight and makes guests feel judged.

• Don’t say: “I’ll bring you what I’d want.” Personal preference is good; projecting it as a universal standard isn’t.

Tasteful digressions that still circle back

A good server knows the menu like a good friend knows their nearest coffee shop. You wander a little, share a tiny anecdote, then bring it home. For instance, you might remark how a certain drink’s botanicals echo a seasonal ingredient on the menu. It’s a subtle bridge between curiosity and comfort. And yes, it’s okay to mention a local product or a seasonal twist—people appreciate fresh, local storytelling as long as it’s relevant to what they’re ordering.

Think of the dining room as a stage where every guest has a different script

One guest might want the quick, decisive route from soup to main. Another may want a back-and-forth conversation, trying a few items before committing. Your goal is to adapt, without losing consistency. A few one-liners you can rotate:

• “If you like bright flavors, the lemon-herb fish is a standout.”

• “For something a tad heavier with a crisp finish, the mushroom toast is my go-to.”

• “Want a little sweet and savory together? The fig-and-goat cheese crostini is a nice balance.”

Scripting isn’t about memorization; it’s about flexibility and warmth.

A practical, guest-friendly checklist

• Know the menu inside out: ingredients, textures, and recommended pairings.

• Have two to three go-to pairings ready for drinks and bites.

• Be ready to adapt: if a guest asks for something lighter or more adventurous, pivot smoothly.

• Keep tone respectful: no sarcasm or jockeying for status.

• Watch the clock—timing matters. Don’t rush guests who’re weighing their choices, but don’t stall someone who’s ready to order.

A small caveat about social dynamics at the table

Sometimes people want the crowd-pleaser pick, and that’s fine. Other times they’re in the mood to experiment. Your role is to sense which vibe is in play and respond with options that honor that moment. If you notice a guest looking toward others’ plates for cues, acknowledge it with a gentle, non-judgmental line like, “If you’re curious about a few flavors, I can outline a couple of combos that really sing together. No pressure to decide fast.” It buys time, reduces anxiety, and keeps the interaction human.

Real-world flavor: tying it back to the menu and mood

Let me explain with a simple example you can reuse:

• Guest says they want something light with a drink.

• You reply with two precise choices: “The citrus shrimp starter with a sparkling Rosé is fresh and zingy; or the burrata with heirloom tomatoes for something creamy and bright.”

• Then you add your personal pick: “If you like a smoother finish with your drink, the burrata version is delightful.”

That flow respects the guest’s preferences, avoids the wrong move of referencing other tables, and still gives a little personal touch.

A closing thought: the guest experience is a series of micro-moments

From the welcome greeting to the first sip of drink and the bite of the starter, every moment communicates. The moment of suggesting drinks and apps is a chance to reinforce confidence and care. The wrong move—calling out others’ orders—can ruin that momentum in an instant. The right move—specific, personalized guidance grounded in menu knowledge and your own favorites—builds a connection that people remember long after the check clears.

If you’re crafting your own server playbook, keep these guardrails in mind:

• Don’t reference other tables’ orders in a way that makes guests feel judged.

• Do be specific, clear, and relevant to the guest’s stated preferences.

• Do share your authentic favorites, with reason, not pressure.

• Do offer tasteful pairings and options that respect the moment and the guest’s pace.

• Do keep the conversations light, friendly, and focused on enjoyment.

And, as always, trust your senses. If a guest’s body language says they’re torn, present a couple of clean options and invite a quick preference. If they’re chatty and curious, you’ve got room to ramble—within reason, of course—and weave in sensory details that make the menu feel alive.

When service feels like a conversation rather than a sales pitch, guests feel seen, heard, and nourished. And that, more than anything, makes a dining room feel like a place where people want to return—time and again. So next time you’re guiding a guest through drinks and appetizers, skip the pointed nod to others’ plates. Lead with clarity, warmth, and a touch of your own charisma. The table will thank you.